The Nathren Disturbance

I was returning from a hiking trip with my wife.  I pulled into a shopping center, went into a store.  It was kind of a General Store, that had a little bit of everything.  I went to the shoe section, and bought a cheap pair of shoes.  They were tan colored tennis shoes.  I believe they were used.  I payed about $5.00 for them.  The woman I purchased them from was a short, stocky woman.  She had long frizzy, salt and pepper hair, pulled back in a braid.  She looked at least part Native American.  She looked about 50 or 60 years old.  She seemed very short with me.
I left the store, sat on the curb, fumbled with the shoes, then picked them up, and threw them in the back seat.  Then I opened the back door, and saw that one of the shoes was missing.  My wife turned around, and said, "what are you doing?"  
"Nothing," I replied, paused, then said, "I can't find one of the fucking shoes I just bought.  I will be right back."  Then I went back into the store, walked up the the woman who sold me the shoes.  She was rummaging through some shelves behind the counter.  She knew I was there, but was ignoring me.  I said to her back (more like her butt, as she was bent over), "I lost one of my shoes.  It is kind of strange, I thought I had both of them.  I even thought that I put them in the car, then it just disappeared..."
"What?" she said, suddenly turning to me surprised.
"I know.  It sounds confusing," I said.  "You don't have it behind the counter, do you?"
"No," she said, laughing a little like she was mocking me.  I started walking away, and she said "Hey!" and started following me out the store.
I went into a garage.  I kind of feel like it was my garage, as I was rummaging through a bunch of my own clothes and camping gear.  At first, I seemed worried about making a mess, then said "Fuck it", and started throwing things around with abandon.  The woman who followed me said, "I know you think I don't like you".  I nodded.  "There was a bank robbery a few years.  I think you did it."
I was walking back to my car now.  "Are you kidding me?  I get nervous stealing a candy bar.  It wasn't me."  Just then we walked by a cop.  I got nervous saying that.  I thought he would see that as a confession to stealing.
She pulled out a picture of a man.  It did look similar to me.  He was sporting a full Scottish beard. He was walking towards the camera.  He was on a rocky Jetty in a rough ocean.  Several people were coming and going on this Jetty.  "A young girl was murdered here.  This is the prime suspect.  I HAVE YOU NAILED."  feeling incredibly proud of herself.
I was now approaching my car.  I felt just as confident.  "Well it isn't me.  I assume they have this guys DNA?  You will find that this isn't me.  I didn't even live here.  I spent my first 20 years in Albuquerque, then the rest of my life in Oregon.  I don't live here."
She looked a little deflated.  She walked away.  My wife was sitting in the front seat with her legs up on the dashboard.  Both shoes were neatly laid out on the back seat.  "You found them?" "Yep", she replied, seemingly proud of herself.

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